Prepare Yourselves, Star Wars is coming back to the big screen!

Yep, you heard me correctly, Star Wars is coming back into cinemas by 2015 with a new film, Episode VII, that’s right, SEVEN.

‘Why is this?’ you may be asking yourself, well, our good friend George Lucas, a man of his word, decided to sell his company Lucasfilm to Disney on the 30th October for a whopping $4.05 Billion. All for a retirement plan.

Many fans have questioned Mr Lucas in the past asking if he would produce any sequals, to which he replied time and time again, “No.” So this is a big shocker to the average Star Wars fan. Literally, I thought it was some joke when I found out on the 31st, but the truth can be revealed after watching several minutes of him in interviews and physically seeing him write the contract.

“We’re doomed!” - C3PO

Now some people are excited about this, and to be honest I can see the reason why. Everyone loves the lore, characters and special effects of Star Wars sure, but let me stop you there for a minute and get my pin out to burst your bubble.

I am a big Star Wars fan, I’ve seen all of the films time and time again, played many Star Wars games and even own the Star Wars Role Playing handbook for GURPS. But when it comes to the sequals, you will have to prepare yourself for some shocking facts.

Does this mean that Leia goes up with Snow White and Cinderella?

1: Time is always progressing.

What I mean by this is, because these films will be SEQUELS to the original trilogy, they will continue the story of the characters we know and love such as Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie. However, those films were shot about 40 years ago, so age has caught up to the original cast. “But what about hiring new actors?” Sure they can do that, but it would also ruin the entire franchise. Everyone knows what Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher looks like, if they change the cast, it’ll be like Doctor Who, except their changes would go unexplained. Even James Bond can be explained seeing as the name ‘James Bond’ is a code name and not a real name (the more you know).

2: Life Problems.

Apart from Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher’s acting careers having somewhat, gone downhill, quite badly. Mark was upset that people loved Harrison Ford more than him seeing as he played the main character and Harrison didn’t. Therefore, he fell out and from then on hated Star Wars. So he’s out. Then there is Carrie Fisher. Now she had quite a troubled past, mainly because she was a drug addict. She almost got thrown out of being in Episode VI, it was that bad. So realistically Harrison Ford is the only likely actor out of the three who may make an appearance.

3: Lore.

In the Star Wars canon, a whole load of stuff goes downhill after the Ewok party on Endor. Many notable things include: The clone of Palpetine, the New Jedi Order, Han and Leia’s marriage, the two having three children, the death of Chewbacca, Luke turning to the dark side, then turning back to the light side, and most notably the Yuuzhan Vong invasion where Coruscant get’s blown to pieces…well, taken over and terraformed. Now you may think that all of this stuff is good. But honestly, it’s just a repeat of what happens in the original trilogy. The remnants of the Empire build a Galaxy Gun, which is the equivalent of the Deathstar, only bigger, and ridiculous. Heck, you can’t even take the name seriously. Now Disney did say that the planned storyline won’t follow the canon directly and instead will be almost an entirely different story. This is promising, but the producers have only got 2 years effectively to come up with the new storyline and film it. Will it be enough?

Overall, for me especially, it won’t be anything exciting. It will be curious to see how they will pull it off with these problems. But I’m in no rush to see it in the cinema, if at all. I’ll just be waiting next door to get my new hoverboard.

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